What can I/we expect first time attending?
To be welcomed, given a tour of the house, a fun ice breaker game, and the chance to spend an evening with people of like mind. There is absolutely no promise that you will take part in any sexual activity--that is solely up to the discretion of those who attend--but we do provide an atmosphere that encourages positive sexuality and fun.
Where is the party house?
The house is located in a private residence in Bonita, approximately 15 minutes south of downtown San Diego. After you RSVP and a phone confirmation is complete, we will email you with directions to the event.
Does it cost money to attend?
A donation of $55 for couples ($45 for SLS group members), $60 for single men, and $15 for single women. SINGLE FOLKS - yes, you too can get a discount - bring a prepared side dish for reduction in donation of $10 - ask what you can bring. Please bring exact change, if at all possible, and cash only (no checks or credit cards).
How do I get on the list to attend?
Please RSVP via the website form (even if you've been here before) no later than noon the day of the party. We will call you the week of the event to do a confirmation, and email you details shortly thereafter.
What is the age range for folks that attend?
It varies, but the majority of folks are mid 20's to early 40's. Unlike the stereotype of swingers, we vary greatly in body type (that so includes those hot sexy BBW's), race/ethnicity, age, interests, and background.
Is there an age limit?
The age range is 21 - 60 years (no one under 21 will be allowed entry).
Do people practice safe sex, and do I need to bring condoms?
In this day and age, safe sex is a given, and even more so in the Lifestyle. So, YES, bring condoms (that applies to both men and women) to ensure that they will be handy if/when the situation to play presents itself. The Party House does not supply them, and wouldn't it be a bummer to not be able to enjoy yourself if you can't find a condom?
What is the ratio of couples, single ladies, and single men?
We generally try to keep the ratio of men to women, overall, at approximately 2 men to 1 woman. So, for an event with 21 people, for example, we'd have 7 couples and 7 single men.
Why more men than women?
It's been our observation in the Lifestyle that ladies tend to recover faster than (most) men. The 2 to 1 ratio allows for everyone to thoroughly enjoy themselves.
What do I/we do if I/we have an issue with another guest?
PLEASE let a host(ess) know as soon as possible that there's an issue. If you or your partner have experienced a problem, we want to be aware of it, and take action, if necessary.
Why do we need to RSVP if I/we have been to one of your parties before?
Your RSVP allows us to have accurate idea of who will be joining us, so that we can make sure that we have enough food, as well as adjust the ratio, as necessary.
What can help a single man to get on the party list?
There are several factors involved, but, generally speaking, RSVP-ing early is a good start (by the week of the parties, we often have upwards of 20 single men asking to attend, so we recommend trying a week or more out, if possible). Experience in the Lifestyle helps, but is not required. If you're new to swinging, please let us know, as well as do your research online (there are numerous websites out there....try searching with terms like "Swinging 101" or the like). If you've got experience in the Lifestyle, and are between partners, make sure to note that in the Comment box on the RSVP page. Most importantly, fully fill out the RSVP form, including your email and a reliable phone number where we can reach you. If we leave you a message, call back ASAP. The longer you wait, the less chance there is of you getting in!
What if something comes up and can't make it?
CALL US--as soon as you know--that way others can be allowed to fill the vacant spot. Plus, it's just polite! If you don't let us know, there's a good chance you will not be put back on the list for future events. Are you open to all races, body types, and sexual orientations?
Yes, we practice a policy of acceptance at San Diego Party House. We just ask that you respect other people's preferences/orientations and practice kindness to your fellow guests.
If I come with one person, may I leave with another, or by myself?
Couples who arrive together, leave together. Singles may leave together, if they choose to do so as consenting adults.
Is this a safe environment for single women?
Absolutely. We pride ourselves on providing a comfortable, fun environment where women are respected and cherished, both as human beings and as the fabulous sexual people that they are. If you have any worries prior to event, please feel free to ask us questions. Your safety and comfort is important to us, because we want everyone to enjoy their time at the Party House.
Is this an orgy or a gang bang?
No, this is very much a "house party" atmosphere, where folks can choose to play, if the mood strikes them.
Are you "420 friendly"?
No illegal drugs or illegal activity allowed on or near premises.
How do I ask to join in when people are playing?
Maintain a respectful distance (afterall, you wouldn't necessarily want someone you don't know inches away from you without your permission while you're engaged in an intimate act), and if they notice you or you see a break in the action, you can ask to join in. The key is to ask and receive consent BEFORE you touch someone. If you touch without asking, or before you receive consent, you may be asked to leave. It's ALL about respect.
What's the latest I can arrive at a party?
We lock the doors at 9:30 p.m. Occasionally, we will make exceptions, but you MUST make arrangements before the party begins. If you have an unforeseen circumstance occur (a flat tire, etc), please call us at your earliest opportunity to see if you can still gain entry.
Do you serve/sell alcohol?
No, this is a private residence. If you want to drink alcohol (we provide soda, water, and juice), we ask you to bring your own. In addition, please note that while drinking is acceptable at an event, we ask that you do not overindulge. People tend to make bad decisions and/or forget to be polite when they have had too much to drink. Plus, drunks just aren't attractive. Please note: We appreciate your need to be hydrated, but we don't allow drinks in play areas.
Can I leave and come back?
Not without the express permission of a host(ess). We realize you may need to get something from your car, but we like to know where you're at, both so we can be respectful of our neighbors, be aware of your need to re-enter the premises, and to keep you safel in general!
Can I bring my camera?
No. Discretion is a basic tenet of the Lifestyle. Pics are not to be taken unless express permission is received from both the host(ess) and the parties involved.
Can I smoke in your house?
No, smoking available OUTSIDE ONLY.
Do we have to stay in our "street clothes" or can change into something "more comfortable" or fun once I/we arrive?
Yes, once you sign in and get the tour please feel free to slip into party theme attire or something hot & sexy. Most folks choose to do so in the locker area, but you can also change in the downstairs bathroom, if you'd prefer.
Why can't I show up in sweats/shorts/something super comfy?
It's a party, first and foremost. Showing up without any care for your personal appearance tells other folks that you're not particularly interested in making a good impression. For the ladies, we suggest you wear an outfit that corresponds with the theme OR something that makes you feel sexy and confident. For the gentlemen, we recommend you either dress for the theme OR wear some slacks and a nice shirt.
Do we have to play?
Absolutely NOT. "No means no" is the number one rule in the Lifestyle. You are welcome to come and be social, to just watch (from a respectful and comfortable distance), play with a partner (be it yours or another attendee), or not at all. This is a very low-pressure environment, and we ask that everyone respects each individual's boundaries.
Is there a set time for playtime?
No, not at all. We've had folks head straight to a playroom, and we've had folks wait until the end of the evening.
What if someone says no - can I ask again later?
We HIGHLY recommend that you don't ask someone to play more than once. If they change their mind(s), they will let you know. No one likes to feel like they're being harrassed.
What if I want to say no - what is a polite way of doing so?
We recommend saying, "Thank you for the offer, but no." It's really very simple...it never hurts to ask (once). In addition, please be kind to those who are asking. No need to purposefully wreck someone's self-esteem if you have no interest in them! Respect, respect, respect, and a good time will surely be had by all!
I need to check my phone for work/babysitter messages-- is that okay?
We prefer you put your phone away for the evening (nothing like a phone ringing at an inopportune moment), but we understand that life happens. We just ask that you find a quiet spot to return your calls, e.g. outside, away from folks, or in the front foyer, depending on what is happening around you at the time, and to keep it as quick as possible. Please note: NO phones in play areas unless express consent is given by everyone in the room. Discretion is a basic tenet of the Lifestyle, and no one wants to worry that they're having their picture taken while they're in a compromising position.
How long do the parties last?
We open the doors at 8 pm, and ask folks to wrap things up by about 2 am. We also offer the option to spend the night at the house, but, please note, there's a fee of $15/person, which includes breakfast, and you need to ask the host(ess) as early as possible in the evening if there's room to for you.
Other clubs demand men are naked - do you?
No, not at all. While attendees have been known to "get comfortable" by the end of the evening, it's in no way a requirement for anyone to be nude.
After playtime do I have to completely re-dress to be in other areas of the house?
No. However you are comfortable. Just make sure you have all your parts covered before you leave out the front door!
What if we see someone we know?
That could defintely happen. It's been our experience that all parties involved respect The Lifestyle and keep this new found information between yourselves. After all, they are there for the same reason. Who knows maybe your next "new friends" live just down the street from you! How convenient would that be? ;)
I'm afraid I might get jealous. What should I do to deal with that?
Our parties and the Lifestyle are meant to enhance an already great relationship...it will not fix an unhealthy one. But, at some point, we all have concerns about jealousy and possessiveness while involved with a partner in the Lifestyle. Couples involved in the Lifestyle tend to be very much in love, and, sooner or later, something will not feel right. This is normal and the solution is communication. Talk about what is troubling you and express your feelings in a respectful and open way. Communicate....Communicate....Communicate!
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